We often celebrate self-made success stories of women around the world, the founder who built the business. Whitney Wolfe Herd, the executive who broke the norm of dating apps from tinder, started Bumble, largest women-first tech platform. Oprah Winfrey, the influential icon who rose from poverty and built a media empire, through hard work and determination. Yayoi Kusama, the late celebrated Japanese and global artist and her unconventional path to success through signature polka dots. 

It's an inspiring narrative. It's also largely fiction. Because the amazing, successful women leaders I know are never self-made. They are community-made.

Why Women Excel at Collective Growth 

For the past 20 years, the corporate world has encouraged women to invest in themselves. And we have. We’ve poured time, money and energy into our personal and professional growth: building new skills, expanding our expertise, strengthening our personal brands, and learning about “self- love” to back ourselves. The message has been clear: learn faster, work harder, push further. 

But is individual effort really the whole story?  

In my early career, these were times when trying to do it all by myself felt lonely – felt like a job on its own. And I often found myself wondering: “Does success really come down to what you know and what’s in your CV?” 

The more I’ve spoken to successful women across industries, generations and cultures, and reflected on my own experience, the more I’ve noticed the same pattern. When they talk about their biggest breakthroughs, they rarely point to a strategy, a qualification or a perfectly mapped-out five-year plan. They point to a person. 

A mentor who challenged their thinking. A sponsor who advocated for them when they weren't in the room. A peer who shared an experience that shortened years of learning. A community that helped them see possibilities before they could see them for themselves. 

Maybe we've been measuring progress the wrong way.  Maybe the most valuable asset a leader can build isn't simply expertise and experience.  It's community. 

Voices from the Community 

I asked a few women leaders and connectors I admire to share the people, communities and lessons that shaped their growth.  

1. When did community change the trajectory of your career? 

The leader I've become was built by a community long before I ever held a leadership title. 

It starts with my parents who immigrated from the Philippines and taught me that success is never an individual achievement. They modelled hard work, resilience, humility, and a deep commitment to helping others. Growing up in Vancouver, I was surrounded by a vibrant Filipino community that felt like an extended family. There was always someone cheering you on, celebrating your accomplishments and reminding you where you came from. That sense of belonging gave me confidence and a strong foundation of values. 

A pivotal moment came when my family moved to New York and my brother and I attended the United Nations International School. Suddenly, my community expanded to include classmates from every corner of the world. I learned that there are many different ways to lead, think and see the world. That exposure broadened my perspective and gave me a genuine curiosity about people and cultures that continues to shape how I lead today. 

Looking back, community taught me that leadership is not about standing above others. It is about connecting people, creating opportunities for them to succeed, and building environments where everyone can thrive.

2. When you face moments of uncertainty or feel challenged as a leader, what helps you stay grounded and move forward? 

Whenever I face uncertainty, I come back to the people who matter most. 

My husband, my children, my parents, and my brother are my anchor. Leadership can sometimes create pressure to have all the answers but my family reminds me that what matters most is not being perfect. It is showing up with integrity, staying true to your values and continuing to move forward even when the path is unclear. 

My children especially have a way of putting everything into perspective. They remind me that success is not measured by a job title, a business result or a milestone. It is measured by the relationships we nurture, the impact we have on others and the example we set every day. 

When challenges arise, I draw strength from that perspective. It helps me focus less on fear and more on purpose. And purpose is what ultimately gives me the confidence to keep going.

3. If you could write a short letter to your younger self, what would you say about growth and success? 

Be unapologetically yourself. The people, communities, and relationships you invest in will become your greatest source of strength, joy, and opportunity. And remember: always be a first-rate version of yourself instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. 

1. When did a community change the trajectory of your career? 

For a long time, I believed that earning trust meant proving I could do everything entirely on my own. But every real breakthrough in my career happened when I stopped leading in isolation and started leaning into communities like The Marketing Society. Trust isn't built by carrying the entire weight alone, it's forged through shared vulnerability, open collaboration, and the collective momentum of the people around you. 

2. When you face moments of uncertainty or feel challenged as a leader, what helps you stay grounded and move forward? 

I focus on perspective and people. In moments of ambiguity, I remind myself of my core values and the 'why' behind the work, which filters out the immediate noise. Then, I lean on my sounding board, trusted peers and mentors who give candid advice without agenda. Knowing you have a safe harbour to test ideas and express doubt is what turns paralysis into steady, pragmatic action.

3. If you could write a short letter to your younger self, what would you say about growth and success? 

Stop believing that asking for help makes you less credible. The strongest leaders don't prove their worth by carrying the entire load alone—they build trust by sharing it. Find your people, let them support you, and build together. 

1. When did a community change the trajectory of your career? 

It’s difficult for me to separate community from career, because community has been integral to both. I believe it would have been extremely difficult to move to three countries, raise two children and build a business twice over without the support of my personal and professional communities. 

One moment that changed everything was starting a business in Japan. I was building a company in a foreign country, in a very different business culture, while also preparing to become a mother for the first time. Within 18 months of launching the business, I had my first child. It was an incredibly demanding period, personally and professionally, and there were times when I was learning how to lead a company and navigate a challenging business culture at the same time as learning how to be a parent. 

I could not have done it without my two business partners, Steve and Ayako. They shared the weight of building the business, and gave me the confidence to keep going when the demands of a new company and motherhood all collided. Their support reminded me that partnership is not simply about dividing responsibilities; it is about having people alongside you who understand the stakes and are willing to build through the difficult moments. 

Beyond the business, my friends provided practical help, encouragement and a much-needed sense of perspective. Japan’s excellent childcare system also gave me the stability and support I needed to continue building the company. I learned that you cannot plan for every challenge, but you can build a community before you need it—people who will show up when life and work become unexpectedly demanding. 

That experience shaped how I lead. As a founder, it is easy to focus entirely on supporting your team, clients and business while putting your own development to one side. But I realised that being a better leader meant being open to support, learning from others and creating the same kind of environment for the people around me. Mentoring, peer networks and communities such as The Women’s Foundation later deepened that belief, but the foundation was laid during those early years in Japan: leadership growth does not happen in isolation.

2. When you face moments of uncertainty or feel challenged as a leader, what helps you stay grounded and move forward? 

I remind myself that leadership is a continual learning journey. When faced with uncertainty, I seek different perspectives from my peers, return to my values and focus on creating an environment where people can do their best work. 

Some of the most valuable leadership lessons do not come from success. They come from navigating challenges with compassion and humility: not being afraid of not knowing something, admitting when you are wrong, and asking for help. Those moments can feel uncomfortable, but they create trust. They also remind me that leadership is not about having every answer—it is about being willing to learn, listen and move forward with others.

3. If you could write a short letter to your younger self, what would you say about growth and success? 

Build your community before you need it. Find people who challenge your thinking, tell you the truth and remind you of what you are capable of. Be willing to admit what you do not know, ask questions and accept support without seeing it as a weakness. 

Community is diverse. It may be a business partner, a mentor, a friend, a parent network, a professional group or a cause you care about. What matters is showing up for others, staying curious and investing in relationships before you need them. Growth isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about finding them together with the right people. 

The Real Leadership Challenge 

For the past 20 years, the corporate world has encouraged women to invest in themselves. And we have. We’ve poured time, money and energy into our personal and professional growth: building new skills, expanding our expertise, strengthening our personal brands, and learning about “self- love” to back ourselves. The message has been clear: learn faster, work harder, push further. But is individual effort really the whole story?  

In my early career, these were times when trying to do it all by myself felt lonely – felt like a job on its own. And I often found myself wondering: “Does success really come down to what you know and what’s in your CV?” 

The more I’ve spoken to successful women across industries, generations and cultures, and reflected on my own experience, the more I’ve noticed the same pattern. When they talk about their biggest breakthroughs, they rarely point to a strategy, a qualification or a perfectly mapped-out five-year plan. They point to a person. 

A mentor who challenged their thinking. A sponsor who advocated for them when they weren't in the room. A peer who shared an experience that shortened years of learning. A community that helped them see possibilities before they could see them for themselves.  

Maybe we've been measuring progress the wrong way.  Maybe the most valuable asset a leader can build isn't simply expertise and experience.  It's community. 

If You Feel Powerless or Stuck, Remember... 

1. Growth isn't linear. 
What feels like being stuck may actually be a season of growth, learning or reinvention. 

2. Nobody succeeds alone. 
Many of life's biggest breakthroughs come through mentors, sponsors, peers and communities, not just personal effort. 

3. Community is career capital. 
Skills open doors. Relationships help you walk through them. Invest in your community early and generously. Be intentional about your reputation. 

Ask yourself: What are the three things I want people to remember about me when I'm not in the room? 

Success may be individual. Growth is collective. Community is currency. 

A Final Invitation 

If there's one perspective I'd like to leave you with, it's that community is one of the greatest investments we can make in ourselves and others. My younger self spent a lot of time worrying about having the right answers. Today, I'd tell her something different: 

“Trust yourself more. Stay curious. Keep meeting people. The relationships you build will teach you more than any job title ever could. So don't wait until you need help. Reach out to someone you admire. Join a mentoring programme. Attend the event. Ask the question. Start the conversation. You never know which person, introduction or act of generosity will shape your next chapter.” 

And if this resonates with you, I'd love to hear your story. Connect with me and let's learn from each other.  

#CommunityIsCurrency #CommunityMade #CollectiveGrowth

And if you're inspired to take the next step, here are some networks and initiatives in Hong Kong worth exploring. 

• The Women's Foundation (TWF) – Advancing gender equality through advocacy, research, leadership development and mentoring programme. 

• The Marketing Society Hong Kong – A professional community offering networking, insights and leadership development for marketers. 

• Women's Entrepreneurs Network (WEN) – Supporting women entrepreneurs through networking, knowledge sharing and mentoring. 

• British Chamber of Commerce – Women in Business – Connecting and empowering professional women through networking, mentoring and advocacy.